Is this a car commercial or csi?
Dumb_girl_in_the_car_who_is_likely_not_long_for_this_world: I feel safe with you….you’re the only one that understands. Tell me again it’s going to be ok (cuz i have no confidence my own opinions or abilities)
Dumbass_guy: i’ll say whatever you want if it means i’ll get laid here in the back seat of my mom’s car.
Nice one, the fire under the car trick, and of course they have several bottles of liquor in the car, seeing as they’re underage.
Dumbass_guy: Get up, get up, get up…(here’s an idea Einstein, i’m sure she weighs like 75 lbs, so pick her ass up and get the hell out of dodge. Well, it’s not a dodge, but you get the idea.)
How are these two morons locked in the car. Kick out a window. No one in that situation should be so calm.
Dumbass_guy: *cough* *cough*
What’s up with the opera music going on in the background. What is this romeo and Juliet?
How is she outside of the car now…and i called it. underage!
Natalia: mass spec will tell us for sure, i’ll get it to the lab (i just thought of a new drinking game. Every time they say “i’ll get it to the lab” or “get this to the lab”, take a sip. Guaranteed to be shit faced by the end of the show)
Photographer: you got it CSI Duquesne (ok, do people really say that. I think “officer” or “ma’am” would be more likely. Unless you’re H, then it’s always “lieutenant”)
Brain_damage_delko having flashbacks, is it back-from-the-dead-speedle OR the shot to the head….you decide
Traitor_wolfe: i miss the team (no one says that)
Do they really need to explain what happens when your brake line gets cut. Even grandma watching from western Kentucky knows the general chain of events.
Brain_damage_delko: never say never. Dude. You’re a science nerd. You’ll never be cool
Hippie_dude: Jessica…she’s my girlfriend (and yes, you are very upset to hear she’s dead)
Hippie_dude certainly knows a lot about forensics for being a moron.
Alexx: i think we’re looking at a botched double suicide
H: we missed something at the scene, eric has to go back
Brain_damage_delko: talking to ghosts on the beach
Calleigh: nice laptop, expensive item for a college student (seriously…this is the thing you notice. I’d say it’s likely that a college student would have an expensive laptop purchased by her parents. However, living in a phat ass beach house on a marina would be the thing that i would wonder about)
What credit company calls your soon-to-be employer and what moron employer listens to them
H:
Lab_guy: how did you miss that the first time….what made you look there this time (could this get any more cheesy!)
Ok…so they’re parked on the beach. someone puts a tube in the window that sends in the carbon monoxide…riddle me this….if you’re parked on the beach, why, oh why, is your engine running?
Brain_damage_delko: let the evidence tell us….i’m looking at a killer
H:
Slimy_credit_guy: a dead client means no prime + 20 (nice. I think he’s up for humanitarian of the year)
All of a sudden she finds dead-but-maybe-not–speedle’s credit card after what, 5 years…now i’ve lost things in the car, but never for that long in such an obvious place
And the credit card has been active for 2 weeks. Let me take some wild guesses here. We’re dealing with some sort of credit collection agency or something…they give you credit cards, identities are easy to steal….someone stole dead-for-sure-speedle’s identity and signed up for a credit card. One of these morons accidentally picked it up somewhere along the way in the investigation. Oh the mother of all coincidences. Or just an average day on csi Miami
Brain_damage_delko: you couldn’t look more guilty than you do right now…
And now the guns are a-blazing
Alexx is all freaked out that brain_damage_delko is talkin’ to himself…
Alexx: you want to talk, you find me
The Maxwell 16
Ah yes, the translucent monitors
Calleigh: he never told us he had a credit card with liberty coast (now how, exactly, is that going to come up..yes, i’m glad to see you’re up from your coma. Now tell me, how did you know the dead girl, why were you on the beach, tell me all of your credit accounts ?!?! wtf)
Is this their way of educating the general pop on the perils of credit card debt
Guy_who_is_too_dumb_to_kill_himself: Liberty coast killed us the day we signed up for that card (no moron. No one made you spend all that money)….
Dead_girl: they told me they were going to take my parent’s house…this is our only way out.. (1. you’re so dumb you believed them 2. i have another idea…it’s called a job. You two are so dumb, you were doing the gene pool a favor)
Guy_who_is_too_dumb_to_kill_himself: blah, blah, perils of credit cards and stupidity….if i had Paris Hilton’s money i still couldn’t pay it off (oh stop right there. Don’t reference her, ever. And correction…if you had access to the Hilton family fortune, you would be able to pay it off. Paris, herself, has very little money)
Since when do you know your creditors on a first name basis
Uh oh, someone is looking at calleigh and b_d_d through a lens or is it some sort of stop-time technique…..fancy graphics exploding out of that lens
Calleigh: kill shot..
Calleigh needs to explain “minitive angle” to another csi
B_d_d: that’s what speedle was telling me about (and you expect no one to question you or act like you’re crazy after you say shit like that)
H: please….don’t…..continue….to….insult….me
So this idiot is in the hospital, escapes, and finds a semi-automatic rifle
H: on the contrary Brandon…no one deserves to die
H: you’re looking in speed’s locker
B_d_d: his wallet is missing
H: when someone who is important to us leaves us it can be difficult to accept they’re gone (is this kindergarten?)
H: it’s time to get some help (nice)
H: thinks eric is crazy, yet goes to the bank to ask about the card. (aren’t most card companies large and anonymous with no local branch)
So b_d_d and calleigh go to a place AFTER the transaction is complete. Cuz the guy is likely to still be there
Someone else in the lab stole the card!!!! And he ran up the charges. More preaching on the perils of credit cards
Calleigh: you have broken the law
Dumbas_lab_guy_who_got_caught: no one got hurt (everyone gets hurt in credit fraud, don’t you know that)
B_d_d and h are both at the grave site…of course
H: eric, come to me next time…(you’d like that, wouldn’t you h)
Speedle with the angelic glow and all knowing smile
B_d_d: you ever see him, h
H: every day….everyday
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