the team's investigation into the death of a young woman, killed after being auctioned off at a charity event, leads to a plot that could put the entire city in jeopardy.
auctioning off women to nerdy losers with too much cash. oh this episode will be one for the record books.
are these hookers...it's so hard to tell in miami. he paid like 100 large for them, but it was for charity. i got it! hookers, miami-style
loser: is this chocolate sauce (CLASSIC. this is csi: miami, so we know it's blood)
h: why did you leave the room
loser: to take a viagra (of course)
the auction raises money for underprivileged kids. right up h's alley. the kids that is.
brain injured delko gets to interview the girls. some sort of sympathy...
hey, all his hair is back in like 2 weeks.
medicinal courage
pimp, i mean, auctioneer: an evening of conversation. (ok. as we all know from previous episodes, no one pays 50 large for conversation. secondly, now i am unfamiliar with the whole auctioning off people for charity thing, but what's the deal. are they high class hookers. if not, who volunteers for this. why would they?)
does it creep you out that she talks to the dead like they're pals
wolfe: alexx, i was born ready
the perpendicular ring thing....
natalia seems to be the only one who ever wears a white lab coat, and her name is on it. what gives?
calleigh: i had to find out from ATF that you lateraled (is that a verb) to MDPD.
h: was the account off shore frank?
frank: yeah, bahamas
(how to run a charity, miami-style)
pimp: lieutenant caine (yet another person who just seems to know his rank)...
h: i have a lot more than just financial questions for you...
pimp: what's the dog for? (1. that sentence is grammatically incorrect. 2. what do you think. the MDPD just brought him over to play fetch. part of the hooker rehabilitation program. think for one second you moron. you can run "h" (the drug, not the cop) through miami, but you can't figure out why cops might show up with dogs. )
h:
pimp: you can't just barge into my home
h: i can
(ok, where did they recruit this guy, not to mention h. the drama class at city college? i've seen better acting in elementary school plays. were these two morons reading the lines? i think a few lines from the phone book would have been more interesting. that pimp dude is like a skinny, ugly, unfunny owen wilson. perhaps he's using some of the h.)
lots of good use of the editing software. split screens everywhere
eric seems to have made a miraculous full recovery
the scenes with h and jake. DRAMA. he also called him 'friend'
delko: maybe horatio can get clearance (oh yes, the all wise and knowing h can get clearance just like that. i hate that name, horatio. he's clearly never seen an episode of csi: miami before. it's always the "feds" against the lab, problems with jurisdiction, and h's murder always seeming to take precedence. the accreditation is often at stake in these sorts of situations)
heff jr....HA HA
hooker, i mean, charity girl/potential fed: you interrupted my spa treatment for this....i left girlie in the room....
delko: if that's even your real name (ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME)
h: yes, who do you work for
(is inspector clousseu on this case. or agatha christie? angela lansbury? WTF?!?!?!)
this intense pressure should really make a federal agent crack
h: don't make me wait (you mean to tell me this arrogant SOB is going to mouth off like that to some homeland security agent. what's the point? usually being a pain in the ass gets you exactly the opposite of what you want)
delko:
i like the screen graphics that accompany the voice recordings
pimp: but i took the drugs out (GENIUS!!! the first rule is never talk. got myself out of more than one situation that way. it's not a lie if you believe it's true. damn.)
wolfe: spatter
ok. they just had to explain what aglet means. and how often do you really lose those things. how about never. wait, i stand corrected. after the age of 5 you never lose those things.
what dumbass leaves the murder weapon
murderer: we're from virginia (cuz there are no whores in virginia)
calleigh: you took her life, now we're gonna take yours
fed: i'm afraid that's classified
h: classified
OH HERE WE GO!!!!!!!!
h: you're money is being used to fund a terrorist organization
pimp: i would never help terrorists
(well i just want to bust into a round of god bless america right now. if this were an episode of miami vice, the bad guys would be russians, and no red blooded american would ever help a damn commie or terrorist, even if they are selling h to 3rd graders)
h: where is your family
pimp: dead if you keep this up...please i beg of you, you can't help me (a tried and true csi: miami line. now h will offer to save the day if you just trust him)
h: i think i can (there it is. well, that should change his mind. 6 months of being tortured by the albanian mob and those 4 words from h will change his mind)
calleigh: kinkella was being blackmailed into funding a terrorist cell (of course. miami style. who comes up with this crap. way to propagate the culture of fear)
cop the lab hates: she's giving him hell. i wouldn't take that from someone i paid for
calleigh: good to know
cop the lab hates: i want in
oh i think the terrorists are russians. I LOVE IT!!!
terrorist woman: my world believes in the death of america..
h: i believe you (another popular line. it's like an h chatty cathy doll)
guns a-blazing!
kornspan: i didn't come this far to be taken down
kevlar, miami style. she's down for the count, and then sits up and pulls out the bullet like nothing happened. (kevlar, invented by a woman who went to my school)
route 821. shouldn't you know where that goes if it's going to a major city!
wolfe: h
again with the exploding translations
why would you use a hummer for a high speed chase. you'd need to get gas after like 10 miles. and of course h is behind the sniper rifle. not a trained officer.
h calls in the roadblock and calls homeland security after he is on the road in the hummer, and it's all set up and all the agencies are there in like 5 minutes out in the middle of nowhere
ok retards, you're going to blow up a truck presumably filled with gasoline and enough blasting power to dust miami. that's awesome.
translation: long life to you brother (ok, i doubt anyone actually says that. and, long life. he's heading into a nuclear power plant in an 18 wheeler filled with explosives, excuse me, plastique explosives. the smart money is on his life not going on much longer. if it weren't csi: miami, i'd put 10 large on it)
taking trucks out in one shot. miami-style
is that h trying to flirt, miami-style
eyeballing her ass, miami-style
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