9/24/2007

Tivo Summary:
A hostage situation turns into murder. Horatio thinks one of the suspects may be his son.

Bikinis, beaches, and dna results

funky_lab_tech: oh my god….the suspect…he’s your son
h…dark suit cuz he’s so mysterious…all poor facial expressions…no response, like, OH MY GOD! What? Do i have to pay back child support? What woman would actually sleep with me? Must have been one of those hookers i was “helping”

They do still have the trial on the exploding captions software! Yay!

Is that frank in a uniform with and shaved head? Some sort of demotion?
Frank: These are stripes Sparky all right. You’re as dumb as you look. I just passed the sergeant’s exam (well, that must be a really challenging exam if frank can pass it. the shaved head must have opened up a few new pathways to his brain)

Of course, the old body falling out the window diversion trick!
And the guy jumps spidey style, bounces off the awning and into his get-a-way boat. Right.

H…the man, the myth, the legend….

lame_detective: We got birds in the air trying to track him down….(do people really talk like this?)

h: 2000 cases…and now 2000 suspects

h: good morning alexx
alexx: one of these days horatio, that will be true. (god i love to hate this show)

h: which would have made the fall irrelevant…maybe the killer used it as part of his escape (did i not just say that?!?! Any moron can have figured that out, h!)

lame_detective: ‘morning officer pretty (does he really think calleigh will put up with that BS for one second)

this is the oddest/most awkward flirting scene ever. Probably because the guy is gay

uh oh….brain_damage_delko is angry about the matching tans

of course she knows the caliber of the bullet on sight…

the electrostatic dust lifter

nice Velcro shoes…figures he got arrested for computer hacking

oh no, another upset woman in h’s clutches…
h: but Dylan had a criminal record and you dad was making sure he fulfilled his probation.

Stephanie: my dad had this ability to read people

H: Stephanie i’m going to find out who got your dad killed, ok (what’s she going to say, no, that’s not ok, i’d rather spend the rest of my life with no closure).

Traitor ryan working at the shooting range…he really needed help with the paper work. Right…

Ryan: yeah, so my life is shit…but anyway, how are you?

Natalia: the handgun PPC quals are coming up (of course). Here’s some foreshadowing for a disaster. Girls and guns, this must some NRA freak’s dream!

Natlaia: muzzle velocity…1000 ft/sec…yeah…uma thurman she ain’t

Hey, it’s like the ankle bracelet lilo had to wear. Ripped from the headlines!!!

h…lurking in the background…this must be his son…


1990 must have been a good year for h…oh here it comes… the scene with Yelena

H: i need everything…

Delivery order via boat…must be nice

H: that boat fled MY crime scene

Dumbass_kid: look dude, i’m on probation, i can’t own a gun (1. h does not fall in the realm of anyone who should be called ‘dude’ for SEVERAL reasons. 2. um, you aren’t supposed to speed either. Doesn’t really stop most people.)
I’m here working toward rehabilitation (that’s right, i almost forgot, the prison system in this country is rehabilitative not punitive. Silly me. Thanks GOP for reminding me)

Gators!
Yes, Yelena really fits in out here in the glades

Mr. barnes…yikes that dude is SCARY

Scary_dude: stop rasslin’ (yes, that’s right, he said rasslin’. Gotta work those stereotypes. Anyone who lives 50 miles outside of dade county must be an inbred hick…ok, that part may be true)
They let that dude be a foster parent. I’m sure CYS is desperate, but no one is that desperate. It’s not even a house boat in the glades.

H: has the father been named….
Yelena: yes, john walden, do you know him
H: i did...once…

I wonder if this storyline will last the whole season.

Wow that is one hell of a monitor….

Oh no, not another little boy! Especially one with a dumb look on is face

H: answer it ( i love all the unrealistic technology)

How the hell does he know it’s kyle. And how can he possible understand anything about that freak show

Off in the hummers with the interactive GPS.

She’s just sitting there. Broken foot or no i’d be OUT!

H: it’s not a random number ma’am

H: maybe it wasn’t his plan, eric
brain_damage_delko: someone else’s? (WOW way to draw conclusions delko…)

rick: you have the testimony of a crooked jail guard…that’s good detective work (that’s the smartest thing said this episode. Rick is a little too snarky to stay out of jail much longer)

Christ….these people even foreshadow poorly. Wolfe’s prints are on the bullet. He is REQUIRED to load the guns at the shooting range…conveniently natalia doesn’t want to practice her shootin’ for free at the police range…and viola….

Rick: they’re going to believe some kid who’s own mother bailed on him. (could this get any worse. I’m sure the dude at work knows this kid’s life story and then uses it against him. And here’s more lame setup for the h paternity debacle of 1991/2007)

Valera: but, horatio this is your dna profile (cuz those usually come in a manila folder!)
H: that’s correct

Of course, john walden is his cover name. that makes sense….special task force…yeah…

Yelena: was it serious?
H: it was for me (cuz hero h would never have a one night stand. And of course he never knew she was pregnant…That’s how they justify the all of a sudden you have a 16 year old son mysteriously show up at a crime scene as a suspect. Oh this will be fodder all season long…juvie kid and h-the-hero as his dad)

Yelena: you’d make a great father (are you blind or just stupid. The guy is a molester!)

And now the dumbass is running from the coast guard. Shouldn’t be too hard to outsmart them.

I like the slo-mo chase scene

Guess the shoot to kill thing didn’t stick

H: patch me through to commander of the US Coast Guard…IMMEDIATELY! (right, some csi in Miami has that power)

I’m pretty sure a 16 year old kid would stop running when he had several boats and a helicopter on his tail..

Ok, so h is now telling the commander of the coast guard to trust him and that they should “stand down”
H: stand down….stand down, sir.

This kid acts as well as h does…

Right, the chase stops and the kid, rather than taking off, just gives in….that’s likely

Kyle: i mean, like, why do you even care (cuz you’re a little boy)
H: it’s my job to care son..
Kyle: i’m not your son, leave me alone (actually, you’re wrong)

this episode is so bizarre it barely makes sense.

Rating: 2 dead hookers.